Bond Goes Blonde

"The name’s Bond . . . James Bond". We’ve heard it in 20 different Bond movies, and the franchise shows no signs on stopping there. After months of speculation, Pierce Brosnan was officially replaced today by English actor Daniel Craig as the next Bond. Craig will team up with director Martin Campbell who launched Brosnan’s Bond career when they gave us Goldeneye back in 1995. Brosnan took three more turns in the role before passing the baton to Craig. Over 200 candidates were auditioned for the role, including the likes of Colin Firth, Clive Owen, Hugh Grant, Ewan McGregor, Hugh Jackman, Colin Farrell, and Heath Ledger. The first film for the first blonde-haired Bond Casino Royale, Ian Fleming’s first Bond novel and a remake of a 1967 spoof of the same name, is expected to be released next November.

There’s no way to tell how this decision will work out until the film is unveiled next year, but if the studio’s past has been any indication Bond fans should rest easy. There hasn’t been one Bond that has truly failed (though some do differ on a couple of the middle choices). The new film is supposed to reach back to the Bond roots and attempt to set aside some of the formulaic trends that recent films have fallen into. It will also be interesting to see how Craig adapts the role to his own, especially with the next film expected to go back to the beginning of the Bond timeline.

We’ll all have to wait and see if the most successful franchise in history can keep its mojo. Until then, we can all revel in the Bonds that were . . .

Best Bond:
1) Sean Connery (6 movies) – no explanation needed
2) Pierce Brosnan (4 movies) – he just had a certain swagger to him and delivery that made him cool
3) Timothy Dalton (2 movies) – I know I’m gonna hear it on this one, but Roger Moore was just such a sissy boy
4) Roger Moore (7 movies) – I still haven’t like more than 1 or 2 of his movies
5) George Lazenby (1 movie) – did he even do a movie?

Best Bond Girls (and names):
1) Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) – Goldfinger
2) Octopussy (Maud Adams) - Octopussy
3) Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) – Goldeneye
4) Domino Petacchi (Kim Basinger) – Never Say Never Again (not technically a Bond movie, but I don’t care here)
5) Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) – Moonraker

Best Bond Villians (and names):
1) Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe) - Goldfinger
2) Jaws (Richard Kiel) - the Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker
3) Odd Job (Harold Sakata) - Goldfinger
4) Emilio Largo (Adolfo Celi) - Thunderball
5) Baron Samedi (Geoffrey Holder) - Live And Let Die

Best Bond Films:
1) Goldfinger
2) Diamonds Are Forever
3) Thunderball
4) Never Say Never Again
5) Goldeneye
6) Moonraker
7) From Russia With Love
8) License to Kill

Best Bond Cars:
1) Aston Martin DB5 - Goldfinger
2) BMW Z3 - Goldeneye
3) Lotus Esprit - The Spy Who Loved Me
4) 1962 Rolls Royce - A View To A Kill
5) Ferrari Spyder 355 (not technically a Bond car) - Goldeneye

Best Bond Quotes:
1) "Martini . . . shaken, not stirred." – Bond, in every movie.
2) PUSSY GALORE: My name is Pussy Galore.
JAMES BOND: I must be dreaming.
3) JAMES BOND: Do you expect me to talk?
AURIC GOLDFINGER: No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.
4) Q: Good to see you Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull around here. I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence.
JAMES BOND: I certainly hope so too.
5) "I thought Christmas only comes once a year." - Bond after having relations with Dr. Christmas Jones.

Best Bond Songs:
1) "Goldfinger" by Shirley Bassey
2) "Live And Let Die" by Paul McCartney & Wings
3) "Goldeneye" by Tina Turner
4) "Licence To Kill" by Gladys Knight
5) "Thunderball" by Tom Jones